From Long Ago
by Misha
Summary: A man reads a letter from his lost love and finally recieves answers that he had been waiting years for.
1. Unanswered Question

Unanswered Questions   
By Misha

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of NBC, Aaron Sorkin, or whoever. I'm not writing this for profit in any way, shape, or form, but because I have a lot of spare time on my hands.

Author's Note- Okay, this was inspired by Lin's "Same Old Lang Syne" and like it, the characters are up to the reader. I would be interested to know who you thought it was, just for curiosity sake and if you'd like, I'll also tell you who I had in mind, but it really is up to you. Thanks and enjoy.

Couples- ?

Spoilers- Nothing.

Rating- PG

* * *

It started out like any other day and it was, until I got the mail. Mostly it was just bills and junk mail, but nestled in between all the other stuff was a letter. 

I took it out and examined, then I gasped. I recognised the writing on the front of the envelope. It was _her_ writing.

After all these years, she had written me.

Why? Why now? After all, it had been a lifetime since the two of us communicated, why would she contact me now?

I couldn't wait to find out so, I ripped open the envelope and took out the letter. I quickly began to read it. I skipped over the beginning and went straight for the part I had waited years for.

_You must have been so surprised when you saw this letter in your mail, after all it's been so long since the last time we spoke. _

_I'm sorry about that you know, I really am. I meant to call you a million times, but I never knew what to say? What was I suppose to say, sorry that our love wasn't enough, sorry I married him instead? _

_I am you know, sorry. Not that I married him, but that what we shared wasn't enough. It wasn't that I didn't love you, I did. It was just... We could never have been happy together, I think by now you'll have realised that too. He and I we make sense, you and I never did. _

_Neither does this letter. But I had to write it. Still, I'll start at the beginning, because I'm sure the letter has been pretty confusing up until now. _

_You see, I think about you a lot. About what happened between us, about the look in your eyes when I told you about my engagement. But I also think about the other stuff. About the good stuff. _

_Remember the night you first told me you loved me? I started to cry, then I told you I loved you too, and then I kissed you. Then, later we went back to you apartment and made love. I felt so complete that night, laying in your arms, loving you and knowing you loved me. _

_But... As wonderful as that night was and all the nights that followed, it didn't take me very long to realise that what you and I had could never last. _

_A long time ago you asked me why and now I'm telling you. You and I could never have lasted for two simple reasons. _

_Number one, we wanted different things in life. We had very different plans for our lives after we left Washington and one of us would have had to make a huge sacrifice and neither would of us would have wanted to do that. _

_The other reason was that as much as the love between us, it wasn't the lasting kind. It wasn't the kind that President and Dr. Bartlett had, it wasn't the kind I have with him. You and I would have ended up hating each other in time, and I didn't want that. I didn't want to end up hating you or to have you hating me. So, I ended our relationship. _

_I knew that you didn't accept it at first, that you were confused by my actions, but I had made up my mind. _

_Then, he came along. Well, that's not true. He was always there on the back burner, waiting patiently for me. He knew about us, I could see it in his eyes, and yet he still loved me. He didn't rush me, didn't pressure me into anything, he just waited until I was ready. And when I was, I went to him and I fell in love with him. _

_Not like I had loved you, but different. I knew instantly that he and I had a future, that our love was the stuff that was made to last, and I wanted that. I wanted to be with him. But, I knew it would hurt you, so I asked him to lay low, and he did. Until the day he asked me to marry him. _

_By then, I had been with him for a while and it had been almost two years since you and I broke up and I was ready. I loved him and I wanted to be his wife. So I said yes. _

_But as happy as I was, I knew it would be so hard for me to tell you and it was. It broke my heart to see the pain you were in, but... I knew I had made the right choice. Still, I am sorry that you got hurt. _

_There, I've told you why it happened and I hope that you understand. I also hope that you know that I never meant to hurt you and that I did love you._

There was little bit more after that, but I didn't need to read it. I had read what I had needed to, what she had wanted me to.

I put the letter down after a long moment, unable to believe what I had read.

For years I had wondered why and I now I knew. Now I knew why she had left me. And I knew that she was right.

I understand that now. That what we had could never have lasted, but it did hurt. Even now it hurt when I thought about the day she told me that she was going to marry him But, it no longer hurt like it once had. The years had gone by and the pain had faded.

But the memories hadn't. I never forgot her or the brief, passionate love affair we shared. Nor did I ever forget it's painful ending and the questions that had plagued me for years. But now I had the answers to those questions and now I understood.

I smiled sadly and pictured her in my mind as she had been all those years ago.

"I loved you." I said outloud. "And it hurt when I lost you. But now I finally understand why. Thank you for that. And thank you for what we shared, even if it could never last."

* * *


	2. After So Long

After So Long   
By Misha

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of NBC, Aaron Sorkin, or whoever.ÊI'm not writing this for profit in any way, shape, or form, but because I have a lot of spare time on my hands.

Author's Note- Okay, this is the sequel to "Unanswered Questions" and the characters are still up to the reader, though I do make one reference to who I had in mind while writing it. It's a pretty subtle hint and it only applies to one of the three. I would be interested to know who you thought it was, just for curiosity sake and if you'd like, I'll also tell you who I had in mind, but it really is up to you. Thanks and enjoy.

Couples- ?

Spoilers- Nothing.

Rating- PG

* * *

The phone rang and with gentle grace she answered it.

The voice on the other end surprised her, it had been many years since she had heard it, but it was a welcome surprise. She had thought about the man who the voice belonged to many times over the years.

And when she had written him a letter, finally explaining why things happened like they did, she had hoped that he would contact her.

Her emotions made it difficult for her to find her voice, but after a moment she did and she began a conversation.

But even as she did, her mind was tumbling in back time to another conversation...

_She was just getting ready to leave when he appeared by her desk. "Can I take you out to dinner?" He asked. _

_She smiled. "Of course." She reached up and gently touched his chin with her hand. "I'd go anywhere with you." _

_"Don't let the press hear you say that." He teased as they exited the building together. _

_She just smiled in response as they got in their separate cars and agreed to meet at the restaurant. Once there, the two of them shared a quiet meal together, just enjoying one another's company. _

_Suddenly, over dessert, he took her hand. _

_"I love you." He told her quietly. _

_She stared at him, unable to believe her ears. "I love you too." She said gently, tears of happiness glittering in her eyes._

How long ago that was now, she realised. So many years had passed and she was sure that they had both changed.

"How have you been?" She asked in the present. "Are you married?"

"I was. She died in a plane crash."

She was silent for a moment. "Wait, not..."

"Yeah." He confirmed. "After we left the White House we lost touch, but we ran into each other a couple years later and one thing led to another."

"There was always something there." She commented.

"I guess, but I never noticed. My heart-"

"No." She said quietly. "Please?"

"You're right." He agreed. "There's no use in reliving the past, it's over and done with. Thank you, though, for the letter. It meant a lot to finally know why."

"You're welcome." She told him softly. "I'm glad that I finally got to tell you."

"So how is..." He was unable to say the name.

She smiled. "He's good, though the years are starting to get to him. He's not as young as he was."

"It's hard to believe." He commented. "But none of us are young anymore. It's been a long time."

"It's been fifteen years since President Bartlett left office." She reminded him.

"And sixteen since your wedding." He said quietly.

She sighed and then was suddenly hit with another memory.

_"Is it true?" He asked quietly. _

_They were alone in his office and he was looking at her with hurt eyes. _

_She didn't have to ask what he was talking about. She knew. _

_After a long moment, she nodded. "Yes, I'm going to marry him." _

_"Why?" He asked in an anguished voice. "Why him?" _

_She knew that this was not the right time to tell him the whole motive behind her reasons, so she just looked down at the floor. "I love him." _

_"You said you loved me!" He cried out. _

_"Things have changed." She told him. "And let's leave it that way. Let's leave the past where it belongs." _

_He didn't say anything, he just looked at her. _

_After a long moment, she turned away. "I'm sorry." She whispered, before she left his office. "I'm so sorry."_

The memory caused tears to glisten in her eyes.

"I am sorry." She said suddenly.

"I know." He told her. "I understand now. I understand why things didn't work out, why they couldn't."

"Thank you." She said quietly. "It means a lot to hear you say that, it's like absolution."

Then she took a deep breath. "Let's change the subject, okay?"

"Alright." He agreed. "Do you keep in touch with anyone else from the White House?"

"Occasionally we run into people, but not really. Though we do talk to the President and Mrs. Bartlett every so often."

"Dr.Bartlett." He corrected. "She was a doctor, you know."

She was silent for a moment. "Yeah, you're right. I always forget that, though she's retired now and has been for a long time."

"So I heard." He said quietly. "How's the president?"

"Not good." She said sadly. "The MS has gotten the better of him, it probably won't be long."

"Those really were the days weren't they?" He asked suddenly. "When he announced he had MS and we all ran for the second term. It was incredible."

"It really was." She said softly, remembering.

Suddenly, she heard the front door open. "I've got to go." She told him. "The kids are home."

"Okay." He told her. "I understand, mine will be home soon as well. It was good talking to you."

"Yeah." She agreed. "It was."

With a sad smile, she hung up the phone, unsure whether he would call again. But she decided that didn't it really matter, he had called once, she had gotten the chance to talk to him.

That was enough.

The End


End file.
